Okay, so we know the last Down3r Tik Tok was pretty out there… and it also didn’t bode especially well for this year!
@bluepierecordsNow the dragon is chasing YOU. ##Sugaboomboom ##tiktiktikboomboom ##horror ##newyear ##2021 ##2020 ##comedy ##cursed ##spooky ##cosplay ##meme ##fyp ##fy ##dragon♬ original sound – PlanetBluePictures
It was one of the first memes out there to be on the bandwagon of saying “2021 will be just as bad” for the sake of jokes, albeit ones that are nervously told in case of them actually coming true. And hopefully… really, hopefully, they won’t come true. But what would be even more terrifying than that coming true is simply watching the latest Tik Tok… at all. Like, really, maybe consult a health professional before watching this one. And they’ll have to watch it to see if it’s safe. So your health professional should consult a health professional. Et cetera et cetera. Turns out, this is all-in-all a cunning marketing strategy for Cadillac Bill. Get the whole world (and pretty much every health professional) to see this Tik Tok! After all, it’s about his show! …this can only end well.
@bluepierecords This can only end well. www.cadillacbillshow.com/watch_cb.php ##cursed ##fyp ##comedy ##cadillacbill ##thecadillacbillshow ##newyearnewme ##2021 ##meme ##bath ♬ original sound – PlanetBluePictures
“I’ve started the new year by watching Cadillac Bill, because 2020 was so awful we might as well see how bad we can get” is exactly the sort of marketing slogan you’d expect from the bizarre Canadian trip into madness known as the Cadillac Bill Show. This is the first Tik Tok we’ve seen from him, and we’re glad to host it on the official Blue Pie Tik Tok account, but it isn’t the first advertisement we’ve seen from him by a long shot! Indeed, we’ve seen several, all brought to us by the infamous alien, Allen!
Let’s play the first one, ladies and gentlemen!
Let’s check out another one! Same formula, different goon.
Per audience demand, we gave him the chair, the fire extinguisher, and the sledgehammer, and it’s good to see he knew which was the audience favourite by gut instinct alone! Hahaha. There were no survivors.
Let’s check out the next one, folks!
That’s the kinda beauty we strive for! The beauty that defies all standards of beauty set before it. A formidable lad wanting to hi-5 Bill so much that he broke his PC! Don’t worry, folks. We had plenty more for him. And he broke those too. He also broke his hand. Y’know what they say about human ingenuity is true… because once that happened, he just switched to the other hand and kept punching screens! He’s still screaming to this day.
Moving swiftly along to the next showing…
This guy, along with our following guest, were placed into the wall-paste producing office for a bit of fun. The pressure of the sheer drudgery seems to have gotten to them, right…?
Well, what we haven’t told you is that we exposed these guys to 48 hours of constant Cadillac Bill prior to this. Now, we’re denying them any media at all, unless it’s related to wall paste. We’re also denying them sleep, food, and other essentials. So now they, oddly enough, have an addiction to the show that can never be quenched!
(REMINDER: The audience is required to laugh when the sign is displayed. Please comply.)
We got one last showing scheduled, and it’s from the stardeck of a primitive human craft. We intercepted this surveillance footage of the legendary entity known as Cadillac Bill intercepting this crew and tormenting them. Don’t try this at home – this is the crown jewel of the old ads, the true masterclass in showmanship!
As you can see, this Tik Tok fits right in, and if you happen to see any more that’d fit the bill, (get it?) be sure to read up here to figure out how to send it to us – assuming you can read, and that all this has been legible so far. Failing that, we’ll send someone over shortly to shout the contents of this article at you boistrously and slowly, to make sure you don’t miss anything. Do not resist.
Now the only question is, is the strange being featured in the Tik Tok that’s being berated by a bogan an alien, or just an anomalous human? Yes. The answer to both, is yes.
Don’t forget to check the mandatory Cadillac Bill Spotify playlist on your way out folks! Physicians say that it’s the number one way to avoid being disintegrated by an alien security detail! Thanks, don’t forget to spread these promos to those who like to see humans in misery, and good night!